Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
