So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
