Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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