y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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