jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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