My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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