I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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