So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
