i don't like sucking hair
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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