a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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