i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
