So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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