I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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