We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Your dad touched me again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
