dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
