i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
