It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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