I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
