I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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