Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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