My pussy is not your playground.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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