Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
