Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
