when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need water and some morals
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
