Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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