i wish my penis had a tongue
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
