Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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