is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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