these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
