he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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