Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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