There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
