Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
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