So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
