dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i dont even know how to be here
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
