so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
