You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
