Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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