..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
