Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
