I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
