Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
