his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
