with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
