Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she smelled like a LAN party
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
