I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
