...so i touched it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
