Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
