Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
