Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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