It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
