I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
