nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
